DB Suggestions Thread

[SteveLW]

I think I've shared my keystone moment before. And it was when I told my W that I had contacted a lawyer.

For those that don't know or remember my W wanted a quickie, internet D. WW fog made her think we could do that. She was willing to walkaway with nothing, after she got a job, but I was insistent that we'd sell the house, and cut all assets down the middle. We were going to 50/50 custody, so depending on the job she got would have determined support.

I decided I needed to be realistic about things, realized that the odds of ending up D'd were great as she continued to insist she was done. So I called an attorney. Had an over-the-phone consult with him. He was pushing me to file first which I didn't care about doing since our verbal plan was too go the above route.

The next time we were discussing things, and she brought up D, and started going on about how easy it could be, I just flatly told her: "Well, it won't be quite that easy. I've already spoken to a lawyer, and he has gone through the process with me." Her face dropped, all the color drained from it, and a sobering look swept over her.

From that moment on things seemed to change. She became more participatory in MC. She started to reengage as a family. It was the first hint that things might start to swing in the other direction.

Up to then she thought I was so vehemently opposed to D that I would never do anything that even hinted at potentially embracing it. When that illusion was shattered it appeared the rest of her fog started to dissipate.