Thanks BF. Need all the help I can get right now. I keep screwing up & reacting - overreacting actually - to things H says. I need to leave him alone & go back to not believing everything he says. He admits he says things out of anger just to make me mad but it is still hurtful.
He said today that he will give me/accept whatever I want if I just give him a divorce. I don't know how to respond. He can't afford to get a lawyer. I think he plans on doing it himself somehow. But if it comes to that, I am going to fight for what I need which is financial support to pay off all of the debt we have accumulated together. So, we will have to have lawyers, etc & I can't afford that right now.
He wants nothing to do with me. He says I can't accept that this is over between us. I don't want to believe that it is & I think (hope ?) he will change his mind again but I don't say that to him cuz it just pushes him farther away.
I think I need to set a goal for myself to not contact him at all this week. Just get scared to lose that connection but it is obviously not working this way. It is kind of like a diet - I am strong & have alot of willpower & control early in the week, but it starts to dwindle as the week goes on. Not sure why that is...
He doesn't sound like he is very happy when I talk to him, not that he would ever admit that though. Hopefully if I give him some space he might start to miss me instead of trying to avoid me. Then I would have the opportunity to be his friend.
