Pretty uneventful day. Left for work and didn’t let W know I was leaving. She was a bit busy and I was running behind. The past couple weeks, when I went into her office to say GB, she just ignored me until I went out of her office. Feel like she doesn’t want me in there which my IC brought to light. Why don’t I see that as clear is beyond me. So with that I will avoid both her BR and Office.

An hr later I get a text, “ hope you have a good day”. Something I wouldn’t have received from her as much as 3 weeks ago. Gave her a thumbs up and left it at that. I just don’t feel I want to converse with her. For wanting to DB and save the M, I am sliding the other way. I feel my patience is really wearing on me. In the days of quick fixes and immediate satisfaction, I feel I am in limbo land. Pushing will result in a negative response so best to keep quiet. A major contributor to our issues is the lack of communication, a place we are bask at. Maybe it is time to push her to discuss the status? Know if I push a convo there won’t be any good of it. Waiting is where I have been w W. How do I move this off center , or do I let it lay?

Major issue is D27 wedding in June at the farm and I truly feel she is staying until then for her own benefit and no meaningful conversations to clarify her plans. I am in a pickle here with no good option. I could push the issue since she clearly stated she wants out, that we need to lay down some parameters moving forward. Still thinking her delaying may be she doesn’t know what she wants. It will be a long winter if she stays. Been 60 days since she supposedly requested a “Spousal waiver” from her L so she can go buy a house. Not one doc to date, makes me wonder what she is doing.

We are invited to a wedding this W/E and not sure I am included.. Was told I may be a problem at the wedding and she doesn’t want me to start any drama. No idea why she would say such a statement but, it’s now 45 days since she rsvp’d and I have no idea if I’m to go or stay. Hard to go to a wedding thAt I haven’t associated w the family for 3 yrs and they are aware of our sitch thru W. If I am invited, not sure I should go. Just not feeling it to be w the W. Feelings of detachment are setting in. Feel this is what she has wanted all along.

Need to get some sleep.... thanks for your time

Zip

Me 58 W 58
T 36 yrs. M 32 yrs
D 27 D 23
BD 8/3/19
Waiting for filing from W