Shame and devastation

[crdcheck]

Hey Jdevast - your W's reactions sound similar to mine, you're not alone. It's tough to hear untruths and not correct them. I struggled with validating when I hear things that are factually-false ("You've never let me make a decision") and her reaction to your validation is similar to what I heard. So, don't read too much into it - it's "normal" (or, as normal as can be given the situation).

And it sounds like it's working - people are noticing your positive changes and that's affecting her narrative. She wants to believe that you are a demon capable of nothing but evil but you're reacting in positive ways she did not expect. Good job!

Keep being AMOAFWL (including being an amazing dad) - even on dark days that will help carry you through.

Last comment - I did as much of the detachment as I could and W's reaction wasn't positive. She needs space and she moved out in Aug. So, this may get worse before it gets better. But even if the MR gets worse, you'll feel better - more in control, more of yourself rather than someone bending around another's demands.

Keep it up!