Relapse and Lost Progress Part II

[hoosjim]

So into my nightstand drawer it went. I didn't even think of it like a signal I was going to date. Now I'm wondering if it was a mistake? I just didn't think much of it, sometimes I leave my ring off anyway, before all this. Regardless, W hasn't said anything to me about thinking I'm seeing someone (last year she did), just her sister. She has however made it clear she is tracking me on the credit cards when I go out and gave herself away that she was frustrated she saw nothing from my night out on Friday (because I have caught on to this).

Interesting how that works, isn't it? As soon as they think you are up to something on your own... making your own way, getting a life, having fun, perhaps even <gasp> finding someone else... they get all interested. Being mysterious is good, keep it up. None of her business right now, anyway. Interesting how her little "naked in the tub" music ploy came pretty soon thereafter. Only a temperature check, obviously, but, still... They will never find you so attractive as when you are walking away. The freer, better, stronger, more independent and confident person you are, the more attractive you will be to all women including, if you are still interested in her, your WW (And also the happier you will be with yourself and with your life and, in general, with everything).

I am one of those people who thinks that affairs, emotional or otherwise, are always ultimately found out and that in this day and age it is impossible to keep a secret like that forever. Your W is definitely doing some suspicious things and there is some smoke and, at the least, she is not being completely open with you, but i would have expected a bigger slip up or reveal by now. WW's typically have their heads in the clouds and don't always do the best job of covering their tracks. If your W is having an A, she is being pretty sharp about it. Maybe ask yourself how you would feel if you actually got confirmation she was texting/confiding with an OM or otherwise having an EA? Would you feel any differently about your goals/ approach and direction? What if you found out she was actively sleeping with someone else... same questions. There is merit to considering the approach of examining WON you can make peace in your mind with the "worst case scenario", and then making such peace and moving on with your life, GALs, etc. Sometimes when you DO get confirmation of infidelity, it comes in a form you can never unsee/unhear/un-experience again. There were things i heard in my own sitch that were VERY hard to hear, and that i still haven't completely gotten over, and that, even with my MR pretty healthy at this point, cause me to have feelings of hurt and resentment towards my W at times. This is not an argument for willful ignorance, but, rather, a plea to consider what your goals are, who you want to be and how your approach to your own life (let alone your MR) meshes with this.

You are getting great advice from Sandi2 and others on here... listen up, and God Bless.