Sorry to hear about your sitch. R2C shared a great thread - definitely worth a read.
It sounds like you are already doing a lot of the right moves. One item I like to bring up is that he has a narrative in his mind about the marriage and you and words won't change that narrative, only actions will. That you are going along with his divorce process is disrupting that narrative - his belief that you are controlling is incongruent with your action that you're not trying to stop him. So, kudos to you for making that switch!
Having said that, don't help him to leave, let him leave. He wants to get an apartment, start buying furniture? Ok. But he wants you to find the lawyer or review his mover options? That's his responsibility. He wants out, let him out, but don't help him out. I don't think that you are doing this but keep it in mind - I struggled a bit with the grey area.
Other thought: for your GAL and 180s, do things that you want to do for you - this isn't about convincing him of anything. If you love karaoke and haven't done it in forever, go out with your friends and do it. But if you are only doing it to show how much fun you can be attract him back, it will come across as manipulative and will build resentment.
Good luck! I'll keep an eye on your thread.
M(35), W(35), D(4) M-9, T-12 Bomb Drop (D announcement) - May 3, 2019 W moved out Aug 13 House sold Sept 25 Papers signed Nov 15 Divorce finalized Dec 12
