Walkaway Husband

[rooskers]

It seems to me like H has rewritten our entire marriage in his head, and has gone as far as to say he doesn’t like how I do stuff, thinks I’m controlling, etc. He says he likes me, but doesn’t love me

LostRose I think all of us get this in some form or another and I am sorry you have to experience the rewriting of your marriage. One thing I have realized is that whether it is true or not, in their mind this is exactly what the marriage was to them at the time they tell you this. It hurts because while it might be their reality, it is not ours.

he wasn’t physically attracted to me—he said he was attracted to who I was as a person. at this point I don’t have any reason to suspect an affair, but I do think H might be infatuated with someone, based off of a few clues I’ve picked up on. His friend had also told me that H felt guilty about being attracted to someone, but didn’t elaborate.

I hope I am wrong but this sends up huge red flags for me and you have to be prepared. You just listed plenty of reasons to suspect there is another person. Not in all cases but in a majority here it is because another person is involved.

So anyways, about a week after BD, I moved out.

Is this something you wanted to do or was it just to please him and show him how much you want things to work out?

H has been the stay home parent since the oldest was a baby, and I did not want to disrupt the kids lives.

He doesn't want to be married, he is rewriting history, likely there is someone else involved, he talked to his friend and not you about relationship problems. Now tell me who is disrupting the kids lives. I would have suggested you didn't move from the house but since you did make sure the children know you will always be there for them. I am not sure how old they are, but the most important thing you can do is make sure they are physically, emotionally, and mentally taken care of.

Read everything you can here and listen to people who are far more experienced than I am. Just know that there are people her that want you to succeed.