I know that he feels he can't meet my expectations but I am trying so hard to not have any. I have been pretty much doing everything since he has been back because I know part of him leaving was not wanting the responsibilitys of marriage, a home, being responsible to another person etc. My hope is that eventually he will want to contribute & help out. I figured that I was doing it all by myself when he wasn't here so i would just continue. But, the volume of laundry, cooking, cleaning etc certainly increases with 2 people.
Things have been going really well the last week. He has been going to a friend's after work everyday for a couple hours to work on his truck but has made a point to come home by 7:30 or so for dinner. In the past I would have been mad that he was spending his time doing that instead of coming right home but this time I have been okay with it - & wouldn't have said anything even if it did bother me. He even commented last night that he thought we were doing really good.
Today he started in on me when he got up, out of the blue, about doing his laundry wrong, not getting it clean enough. He was picking on me about some other stuff & I was arguing with him & explaining myself. He said all I ever do is try to justify everything I do wrong. I think this means I should be validating instead of "justifying"? I feel like sometimes I have to defend myself but maybe it would be better to just let it go for now?
He left tonight & is staying w/ his kids - I dont know if this is just for tonight or if he is leaving again. He is saying that he thinks I don't really love him & just want someone here, that I just don't want to get divorced again. I don't know why he goes off like this, & I obviously am not handling it the right way. Last weekend I was at my sister's for 1 day & he text messaged me & said he missed me & wished I was home. And now this... Everything can be going great & then we have 1 bad day & he says it is over. I don't know how to get him to see that marraiges have ups & downs & that I will never be perfect no matter how hard i try. When we have "good" talks, he knows this but at times like this, it is like he is just waiting for me to tell him to go.
Everything can be going great & then we have 1 bad day & he says it is over. I don't know how to get him to see that marraiges have ups & downs & that I will never be perfect no matter how hard i try. When we have "good" talks, he knows this but at times like this, it is like he is just waiting for me to tell him to go.
