Is it normal to separate financially at the beginning of the divorce process, under some temporary arrangement, with the understanding it would be negotiated/finalized during the process?
In my state there was something called an Order for Temporary Support. It might be more than what alimony and/or child support would dictate. But at least it would be official and hopefully count toward her being able to show consistent income (they are generally interested in whether you are a deadbeat or if you pay consistently on time, as that would affect her ability to pay rent.)
AS for the house, I didn't mean you move back in with her; I meant you taking over the house after she moves out. IF you could afford to buy her out of her half of the down payment and increased value, would you be able to rent out the guest quarters and afford the house yourself? Would you want to?
How much are the mortgage payments and how much would the guest quarters rent for? Depending on rents where you live, she might not be wrong about trying to stay - the biggest problem being she wouldn't have the money to buy you out and wouldn't have the work history to refinance.
And I agree with Doodler's comment - although on RARE occasions WAWs sometimes don't have an OM, most still do (and virtually ALL WAHs have an OW). Phone records will usually reveal a suspicious pattern of numerous texts and phone calls. In fact, if she DOES have an OM, that might be why she wants to hold onto the house - she might be thinking he could move in and help with that. I don't know about your state, but in mine, I had a common clause in my divorce that I couldn't have a man living with me while I was receiving alimony. Ask your lawyer about it.
