Where is the OM in all of this mess? Oh yeah, there is no OM. Riiiiight...there is no OM. A true WAW is about as rare as a billionaire in a soup line.
Why is the OM important? Because if you're not in a no-fault state, then it gives you some leverage.
If you're paying all of the bills, like for cell phones and internet connections, you might might want to have a look-see at what you're paying for (you know, text messages, email and the like). If your paycheck is going into a joint bank account, then open your own account and have the paycheck deposited in your account. Continue paying the bills and supporting your family, but it's time to protect yourself.
Go interview several divorce attorneys and find one that you like. You don't necessarily have to retain one immediately, but go ahead and get things started. You can even drop some hints about what you're doing. The key is that you need to be in the driver's seat. She's not going to respect you of you continue the status quo. The probability is that you are going to be divorced, so you might as well get out ahead of this right now because the longer you wait the deeper the hole is going to get.
You don't have to be mean or nasty; you do need to be firm, direct and very clear in your communication that it's not acceptable to continue living the way things are.
