Persistant Endurance (Part 7)

[ovrrnbw]

Curtis,

you've been in a lot of pain and confusion for the last year. I've been there. You really love this woman, it shows, I can sense it. That makes it hard to let go and hard to see things clearly.

Also, I think there are plenty of success stories too, but that's just me. I won't keep a log of them as I always browse this site incognito and save nothing on the computer. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst!

I do think that you should reconsider the daily communication that you say are necessary for the children. I believe you can set a schedule and then communication only needs to be in emergency situation (AKA never). I think No Contact will be the best thing for you and your sitch. But you have to decide to set that parenting schedule and move the horse, until then, it won't matter. I think your W would freak out if you set this plan and stopped talking to her. She's not ready to lose you, but if you wait until she is ready, then it may be too late for you. NC was the best thing for my sitch, and I see similarities in ours. What do you think about this?

I know you said you'll do your best to move forward while standing - that is great. I just want you to think about concrete goals, what does this look like to you?

One thing discussed in Blu's thread is the resentment and length of time a WAS has been contemplating leaving. Your W isn't just obsessed with OM, she's also just tired of the way things were at home. It's not like her affairs aren't in the open. There's something stopping her. I know you mentioned she's stubborn and you fear she'll divorce rather than admit a mistake, but don't let this fear overtake your mind. What are you doing to become a better person? To heal? To grow? Sometimes this seems like Mrs. Curtis's thread, and I think if you're going to make a strong stand, you should switch it up!

I believe the issue with the mail where you asked for advice from the vets is a small issue. Return to sender, forward it to her address, hand it to the kids and say give this to Mom...whatever you'd like.