Haven't posted in a long time but have been lurking everyday. I've not been one to really give much advice to others so I don't expect much help on this, but any input would be greatly appreciated...
H moved home about a month ago. Things seemed to be going really well, he acted like he wanted to be here, said all the right things etc. The last few days he has been more like his old self - irritable, unhappy alot etc. I figured it was because he is in the process of quitting his job & looking for a new one - he is getting burned out, etc. That is another story. We do work at the same place.
Anyway, last night he started saying that he is not happy being back here, he loves me but is never going to be husband material for anyone, he only came back to make me happy & because I convinced him he was wrong to leave, made him feel guilty, etc. I asked why he has been acting lovey dovey, affectionate, happy. He said he is just trying to make the best of it. Doesn't like having to be responsible to me, etc. Same old story as before. I really don't think that is why he came back because I think he wanted to at the time. This is a guy who was in prison for 7 years & his freedom is very valuable to him - 1 of our problems when he left - & now after 9 months of being gone, he claims he came back to make me happy & that is the only reason he is here. All he has been saying since he left is that he only feels obligated to make himself happy in life. I can admit that my level of expectations has gradually increased in the time he has been home - maybe he feels that pressure. I can see it myself so I imagine it is bugging him.
So, am I wasting my time? He seems to love & care about me but it seems logical that he will just resent me if he stays. I guess I am hoping it is like Michelle says in her books - he has convinced himself that the way things have been the last month have not been true feelings, etc. He forgets about the good things & only remembers the last couple days which haven't been great.
Do I tell him to go or take the opportunity to truely DR & hopefully he will want to be here? I feel kind of pathetic wanting him to stay but I think that deep down there is more there than he realizes.
I could go on & on w/ details & our conversation last night but figured I would start here. I will try to link my old threads next.
