unchien, you bring up some good points. That book was life-changing for my H too. We can all learn something from having stronger boundaries, clearer communications and not making covert contracts. In life we all have to ask for what we want and not expect it.
LI,
These are really good questions that I am afraid do not have simple answers. I think you are onto something tho when you say that a WW might be harder to turn around than a WH, because she might be more emotionally invested. That was certainly the case in my sitch. My H came back to the M whereas X-OW did not return to her H rather she moved onto OM2. I also suspect she was more of a walkaway than simply wayward. I recognize that is a sample size of 1. So take that with a giant grain of salt.
Reading here, it seems to me that most of the posters are male and while the WAW is also Wayward, she is also more of a Walkaway. So I might suggest that it is not gender that determines likelihood of returning to the M, but the circumstances that led up to leaving. I think the longer the person has been "unhappy" or threatening to leave, the less likely they are to return. They are walking away from the M, whether there is an A or not.
We hear a lot of stories of women that have been saying (or not saying explicitly) that they are unhappy in the M for many years. By the time they finally leave, they feel freedom and relief. That to me constitutes a Walkaway. A WW (Wayward Wife) IMO is someone that is more running towards an A in a limerant or fog state, however they may not have intentionally planned on leaving. I think those people, female or male, are more likely to return. Eventually the limerance will end and they will see more clearly. Once out of the A fog, they might look back over their shoulder and reevaluate the M. Again, that was the case with my H.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
