Post D update

[Davide]

Hey Ovr!

Yeah, it is a version of Sober October, and I have cut down on my alcohol intake as well, so the description fits. Regarding the idea of attracting bad energy, when I met my ex a decade ago I was depressed and coming off of a bad breakup, so I guess it isn't always true, but I do want to be dating for the right reasons - sharing strengths, rather than trying to paper over weaknesses.

Physically I am doing much better - I'm still dealing with aches and moans - tendinitis and strains that come with being older and as active as I am, but I can still do the things that I want to. I have worked with a therapist regarding depression already, a lot of CBT strategies, so I have some tools in my belt. Honestly, nothing really helped this time other than persevering through the episode, forcing myself to be active as possible, and letting time take care of it. I definitely feel like I have come out the other side, which is a relief.

I am wondering if I should change my online dating philosophy as well. Previously, I met up with most women whom I conversed with for a first date - if the conversation kept going and was relatively engaging I was up for meeting and generally suggested it within a week or two. However, I rarely reached out for second dates. The first date was the crux point. Sometimes it was clear that neither of us were interested, but often it was my call not to pursue it further because I didn't feel a romantic connection. There have been a few people with whom I hit it off right off the bat online and there was a spark even in our conversation prior to meeting, but these were few and far between. I am wondering if I might be better off being more selective, and holding out for those connections. Even they are no guarantee of physical chemistry, but they would save me a bunch of time and money that I have invested in first dates that led nowhere.