Where is your MLCer 2-10 years into/or post crises

[AndrewP]

Interesting question. Personally although I certainly have heard stories like DnJ's that certainly sound like some sort of mental illness, I don't really believe in the broad application of the MLC label any more. My ex certainly did hit all the markers. Childhood trauma, depression and as she's gone through her life she's even gotten the obligatory tattoos. But on the other hand she was always a rather selfish and self centred person who would never admit that she made a mistake.

It's been about 3 1/2 years since she left. Add on another year or so for her being "depressed" and hooking up with OM if you want a timeline. The divorce was filed at the end of 2017.

I know very little about what is going on in her life. As far as I know she has had OM who has now retired move in with her into her apartment. She seems to be a very angry and bitter woman according to second hand accounts. She's not made any moves to reach out to me in any way and I honestly don't expect that to change. She has a relationship with both our kids now of a sorts which I know little about. She sees S25 every month or so - she lives 5 minutes away and she and OM have driven down to see D27 a small handful of times.

Personally, I suspect that she and OM will stick it out together although undoubtedly it would be rocky. She wasn't the easiest of people to live with at the best of times. I don't see her spiraling into a worse place of poor choices but rather just living her life.

Even if she and OM do split - I can't see her making a play to come back. Nor even to try to have any sort of regular "just friends" contact.