Yeah... from what I gathered, she claims to have done some reflection to realize the positives of the MR, but she hasn't read up on any books, nor is she seeing an IC.
I think she's just trying to relief her pain / withdraw from security detachment, but not really working thru it or trying to end the affair. My fear is that if I let her come back now, her pain goes away, then she flip flops back wayward focusing on her excitement / withdraw from the affair.
I really need her to be grow and be educated on her emotions and needs... she's smart, but I think she's deep in the fog right now. I have concerns that even after the fog, she won't really do enough self discovery to realize what she can do herself to make her happy in any relationship.
Million dollar question... if 3 weeks is not enough, when is it enough?
Originally Posted by MMM12
[quote=LovingIt] When she is out of her fog, you will know! Temp check is what the WW does to make sure you are still secured perfectly as plan B.
Looking back, do you think / realize you were in the fog?
She needs to realize the positives are so good that she can't imagine creating a better life with anyone else. And that you won't be a doormat to her affairs any longer.
I don't have the answer to the million dollar question. Her growing and being educated in her emotional needs is going to take time. If you keep letting her off easy, eventually she will just discard you. You won't have any more value.
I have read on these boards that many waywards don't truly do the self discovery until after R or years down the road after D. They're too much into the fog. This makes sense to me now.
I absolutely realize I was in a fog. My situation was quick, just a few months. I also have never cheated although I have imagined cheating many, many times in my life. I have realized recently that I have a very wayward mindset, I just don't act on it.
