I am going to offer you some advice and it is up to you as to whether you want to listen or not. This latest stuff is way too fresh in your mind. Give yourself a few days and allow that pain/hurt to wash over you and then release it. If, after a couple of days, you still feel the way that you do, then you will need to make some tough decisions. Sit down, make a list of pros and cons and then go from there.

Try to remember that actions speak louder than words. I've taken the liberty to change the emails you plan to send. If you do send one...do just one and leave it at that and then give her the time and space to respond back.

"I have come to the realization that you do not want to work on the marriage. This situation isn’t working for me anymore. I respect myself enough to let you go and move forward with my life."

I would keep the asset list on hand, but not give it to her unless she's ready to move forward with a divorce. Keep your cards close to the vest for now. You want to keep things simple, but straight forward at this time.

Enjoy the party this evening.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.