Balancing my own emotions is hard today just need a break to calm my mind . Have plans to GAL in a little while but felt the need to vent .
H has increased his pursuit - yesterday he had plans to take kids to his cousins overnight for a planned Halloween party . H has been planted at my home for a awhile now . Depressed . But seemed to perk up yesterday which was nice to see . Even though I know some of it was by his own choosing still can be rough to watch .
I left work last evening . For years my usual is to call H. I have stopped this completely for months . I knew he would be gone by time I arrived home . I walked in and noticed a love poem and bracelet for me . Very sweet and thoughtful . I don’t know why I didn’t call H but I didn’t . Maybe it’s my detachment that’s kicked in . Or knowing not to jump on the rollercoaster . He asked me if I was home and noticed . I said yes and thank you it was so sweet . I don’t know what has come over me lately I just can’t get a grip . He really is trying Which is such a nice 180 on his part .The pursuit continued with frequent texts and calls from him . More talk of the grass not being so green . Missing home and me . I validate . Emailed a coach local to set up for next week .
Maybe I have detached too much ? The goal always is to have a stronger new marriage for me but the line of don’t jump at crumbs is imbedded in me now . I don’t think these are crumbs anymore.
I don’t know what to do so I’m going to do nothing and just go with the flow
