My being a tad sensitive has nothing to do with the male energy of pumping one another up to be more alpha. No idea how you made that direct connection. I wasn’t a tad bit either, I was extremely. My H didn’t just have a couple EAs and turn around after a couple months. He had a very long EA with a best friend and then picked up and left me for her for a year. It also happened when my father died and my teen daughter was diagnosed bipolar, and while he was gone I had to send her out of state. I think that warrants sensitivity, as other things do for a lot of our posters. I didn’t want 2*4s, I was trying to get through each day. That’s why I chose not to post. But I still read here and people were not as harsh or argumentative.
In terms of what constitutes sexism, well I could talk about that one all day. But I’m not going to. Why would I? I’m from a very different part of the country and the community that I live in has different values and a different way of communicating. I don’t want to argue or spend time here discussing it because that is not what this forum is even for. But I certainly cringe when I see people on the boards carelessly tell one another to man up, be more alpha, go fire a gun, get your balls back, etc. Not all posters want to read that macho advice nor does it benefit all them. I do think at times there are people that really can benefit from having firmer boundaries and standing up for themselves, or doing more GAL, but this can be said in many different ways.
I really do not agree that most men are having Nice Guy Syndrome, I really dont. I have read the book and it fits my own Hs character 100% . I think I have a good understanding of how it happens and how it can hurt a M or any relationship. I don’t see how those same qualities can be attributed to most of the posters here. I think people want to see that. It all fits into a mold of being wronged by the WAW/WW. I think it’s more beneficial to understand where he could have gone wrong than make that assumption.
And again, I’m here feeling like I need to defend myself. I don’t know that there is much point to this. Have you ever read any of starskys posts? He gave the best advice and was a gem to these boards. I don’t see posters like him much anymore. So my only point to posting is that I can see some of No worries points. Things have changed. There are people here that entitle themself to advise people, and sometimes 100 times a day. Entitle isn’t necessarily a bad word, but they really believe they are able to understand and help.
The culture is different IMO. Just the very fact, Steve85, that you wanted to address all of my points and engage me in this, is an example of what I mean. Why not just accept my position for what it is? I see it differently. I liked the posters and culture more several years ago. I don’t read and post as much. That’s fine. Others will come and go too.
Blu
Blu, my apologies if you feel like you have defend yourself. You shouldn't have to. I sincerely appreciate your perspective and agree with many of your points.
