My story, trial separation for now, Part 2

[ovrrnbw]

Hey Steve,

I thought about what you said in regards to your convo with your IC. I see some logic in that. This method worked in the first place. It attracted her before. I'm also wary though, as even you said that it applies pressure to a situation with almost no positive signs.

I too am confused on why the separation happened in the first place. Can you explain that further?

We've been S almost four months; it's past the time of "needing space", it's into "building a new life and seeing if that new life is better" territory, right?

I think most of these sitches take longer than that to play out.

I ask myself: what am I holding out for?

You are holding out because you love her, married her, and believe in your vows. This is a hard time, which you signed up for.

One thing my IC is really keen on - and probably to some disagreement on here - is that if there is to be any reconciliation, WAW is going to have to fall in love with me again

This is hard for me to say. Last May I read a text from my WW to her friend that said basically "I love Over, but I am in love with OM". Yet my W kept contacting me, kept coming back to me. So my experience goes against what your IC says in a way. But on the other hand, I do think we need to be building up our "in love" feelings to get through this.

But apart from a few general things, there's nothing I can really say to WAW

What are the general things?

On the flip side, I believe her actions are speaking in regards to MC. Your words were "I'm willing to move mountains to maintain MC as a lifeline", and I believe you would take quick action to support that. Her actions show you that her head is not in the same place.

For now, with her not attending, it seems as if MC has been dropped, which is what AS is suggesting you do. I think you do nothing with regards to MC for the short term. Maybe you should consider your pursuit plan though. Have you pursued at all since the separation began? I think you did a little, but it has been a while.

When's the last time you've read DR?

If I'm sitting back looking at this in five, ten years, am I going to have regrets about being passive and just letting things die on their own? I wouldn't be able to say that I did what I could, that I shot my shot, if I continue acting the way I'm acting.

What things can you do to arouse interest in her? Last year I downloaded Snapchat ( I hate Snapchat and my W knew that) because a friend said to. I got a bunch of texts and calls. My W assumed I was chatting with other women on there and quizzed me about it. Is there something like this that is maybe an indirect way of grabbing attention? Personally I wouldn't want to go peacocking past her if I was you, but there's got to be a way to arouse some interest.

I thought this post was going to be a quickie, ha.