Steve, you are stuck in a revolving door. I'm going to repost my last post to you, because nothing has changed:
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Steve, drop the MC. Your W's head isn't in it. You've got to forget these pretenses of thinking that you are piecing because you are not, and you need to fully embrace DB'ing. Get out and GAL. Give her time and space. If she decides she's ready to work on things you will be the first person to know. Until then LEAVE HER ALONE. If she asks why you've changed then tell her you realized her heart wasn't in it and you've decided YOU need some times and space from HER to weigh your options.
I hear you, but here's my push back. First, I don't believe it's bringing me any closer to my goal. We talk next to never, and we're more apart than we've ever been, both emotionally and physically. If I'm sitting back looking at this in five, ten years, am I going to have regrets about being passive and just letting things die on their own? I wouldn't be able to say that I did what I could, that I shot my shot, if I continue acting the way I'm acting.
She asked for space - I think I've gone above and beyond in giving it to her, more than almost anyone would. What's been advocated here is more and more and more and more, with zero evidence that continuing down that path will suddenly change things. I hear you when you say that this advice is given on the back of numerous examples, but it's really hard to go with that on faith when I feel as if I'm in a worse place than when I started.
Secondly, it's also not who I am. It's incredibly hard for me just to sit here and feel like it's slipping away, and tell myself to not do anything about it. I feel like the rules and advice are in place to avoid someone doing real damage: making demands, crying, pleading, begging, and demanding timelines. That hasn't been and will never be me - I just have to think there's some middle ground here, and I'm trying to find it.
