Victorious!!

[AnotherStander]

I also have another question. I thought that when you became completely detached (your done). That is when you could DB effectively. I am completely detached. So I’m curious why I am being told to sit her down for the big “are you in or out convo”. If being detached is the big goal

Oz, you are nowhere close to detached. Your WORDS (to us) say detached. Your ACTIONS do not. Let me offer an example to help you understand the difference:

NOT DETACHED:

First off she is upset about money. Or lack there of. She is being very short and cold


H do you want to go to chiefs game at drive in theater? It’s free
W no
H ok, well I’m gonna go
W ............


H how was your day at work?
W fine.


Very short. Very snippy.

DETACHED:

First off she is upset about money. Or lack there of. She is being very short and cold

H do you want to go to chiefs game at drive in theater? It’s free (Oz is walking out door)
W no Where are you going?
H ok, well I’m gonna go Out.
W ............ Where??
H To watch the game. (leaves and closes door)


H how was your day at work?
W fine. You've been quiet lately, are you doing OK?
H I am awesome!
W Aren't you going to ask about my day?
H Oh wow, I didn't realize what time it was. (leaves, closes door)

I’m ready for the convo. I’m guessing 90/10 she wants D vs R. But who knows.

I do. It's 100/0 right now. Give it time and it'll shift.

I love her, I really do. But I am completely detached. She could walk and it wouldn’t hurt.

That being said. Would DBing and 180ing and GALing like a crazy man make a difference in the next 3 months.

If you were really detached you wouldn't even ask that question.

That’s why I asked about ILYs. What have I got to lose? If they blow up in my face then fine.

You'll lose whatever respect she may still have for you, and you will potentially gain nothing. Why? Because you are clearly only saying it as a trick to get a response out of her.