Victorious!!

[ozman]

LH 19 said that maybe throwing out an ILY would be ok. Based on convo W had with my mother

Am I just getting antsy for resolution you think?

If W DID want to recon. I don’t think she would take the first step. It’s not her way

I really don’t feel like I’m all over the board. What I do feel is very content. Whether she stays or goes. I just don’t wanna blow it if it CAN be saved. If it can’t. I’m totally fine without her. Make sense?

Not trying to beat a dead horse. Just wanna button down what you guys are really thinking

I’ll list out books in a min


By the way. You guys are awesome!

[Ready2Change]

LH 19 said that maybe throwing out an ILY would be ok.

If the feeling is right. He said he was skeptical of the convo. I am to.

That recommendations was also before the stain. That was also after you said you felt like doing.


Do not say ILY first. Do not parrot W. Let here say it more than you. 2:1 or 3:1.


The best time for ILY when you are looking deep into each others eyes. Right before you break contact. Right after being intimate.

[LH19]

Oz,

Yes you’re just being antsy it’s your anxiety.

If you’re 100% ready then talk to her about it. We stress no relationship talks because they usually don’t end well but if you’re ready to walk then it’s ok. It’s actually the mature alpha thing to do. You are lovely communicating that you would love to work things out but if she’s not interested then you will go find someone who wants to be with you.

Now having said that if she says she’s not interested and you don’t follow through you will remain in limbo until she’s ready to D you or she changes her mind. She will have zero worries of losing you.

[ozman]

I’m ready for the convo. I’m guessing 90/10 she wants D vs R. But who knows. I love her, I really do. But I am completely detached. She could walk and it wouldn’t hurt.

That being said. Would DBing and 180ing and GALing like a crazy man make a difference in the next 3 months. Cause the convo has to happen then no matter what. I’m not renting another place with her unless she is committed

That’s why I asked about ILYs. What have I got to lose? If they blow up in my face then fine. Or is convo better

[LH19]

The ILYs are kind of passive aggressive and don’t give you a clear answer. Case in point she didn’t respond and you played it off as she had to go.

Convo is direct to the point and no more guessing.

Maybe waiting 3 months makes a difference maybe not.

[ozman]

I never thought of it that way. Thanks for that

1 easy question.

Is it good or bad to be where I’m at 4 months after BD

[LH19]

O,

Not sure what you mean. If you’re talking about that you feel you are done and ready to walk away. Yeah it would be great but I’m not buying it. Can’t remember anyone who was ready to give up after 4 months.

If you mean where you’re sitch is at it’s pretty much par for the course. Little to no movement after 4 months.

[ozman]

LH, I’m ready to walk away. Guaranteed. You don’t have to believe me. That’s ok. But it’s true nonetheless.

Question 2. Why is that a good thing?

[LH19]

Because that means you are detached.

One thing I learned through the entire process is I will never again ever try to convince someone to be with me who doesn’t want to be with me.

[ozman]

Wife is extra pissy tonight. They are playing the chiefs game at the drive in. Sounds awesome right?!??!! She doesn’t want to go. So I’m going by my self. It’s gonna be awesome!!!!

She might be about ready to BD me again. Who knows. Lol