IMHO, once the WW has dropped the bomb or the betrayed spouse discovers there is a third party……there should be an immediate shift that makes a statement about the betrayed spouse. He is not going to be soft, tender, accommodating, available, chatty, or BFF's with the wayward spouse who has disrespected him. I suggest there that there is a noticeable crack/break in their MR. That means the betrayed spouse will not pretend that everything is honky-dory in their MR, and play happy family with the wayward spouse. I’m going to stop telling LBH’s to be polite, b/c somehow they manage to turn into chatty bagpipes that can’t find the function key to close his mouth. Just be civil. Don’t be a jerk………just be civil following the period after the BD. Most men want to start showing his changes and dancing to the tune of “please pick me”, and jumping through hoops of fire if it will persuade his WW to stay with him. No, this is not effective with a wayward.
I get how the LBS wants to go into marriage repair mode and “win” back the spouse who no longer loves or even feels attracted to them....but it doesn’t work. Even if the LBS does a 180 on all their old bad habits and becomes a terrific version of their former self…….it doesn’t win back the wayward wife. I’m not against improving yourself, but the WW is not interested as long as she is in a state of limerance. It is not the time to try to impress her with improvements as her H, b/c there has been a firing and another man is filling that position (at least, emotionally). If the LBH will give the WW serious personal space, emotionally and physically, and take the time to develop bigger b@lls (him, not his WW), and lets her face some consequences that come from her bad decisions/choices………..then he’ll have an opportunity to show her what a great catch she put on the open market for all the single females out there. I can talk more about this later.
Well, some people may read today's post and think I am trying to get you divorced. I promise that's not the case.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
Just be civil. Don’t be a jerk………just be civil following the period after the BD. Most men want to start showing his changes and dancing to the tune of “please pick me”, and jumping through hoops of fire if it will persuade his WW to stay with him. No, this is not effective with a wayward.
