Confused and Lost

[KristinG]

Thanks IW. I am making the "be the lighthouse" my mantra. Keeping the road nice and smooth so if she ever decides to drive home I'm prepared. I've been working on just validating a lot and not trying (as much) to fix everything. I have stopped checking the phone bill this week to see if they are still in contact which is a HUGE step for me. It's just too painful to see the hundreds of texts and phone calls every day. I don't initiate contact but will respond upbeat and happy whenever she reaches out which is quite often. I know I've said this before, but I'm terrified she is trying to "friend-zone" me so that she can have her cake and not lose what we have as well.

She called me last night after getting home from going out with some friends. She was a bit drunk and said "baby, please come over I don't feel so good". (We still use pet names and say ILY but I don't initiate those anymore). I picked up some Gatorade and taco bell cause I figured she needed some hydration and food haha! I stayed the night and she held me all night. We aren't intimate but we still spend a couple nights a week together.

This afternoon she sent me a quote from a meme she saw on Instagram.

"I am closer to you now than I was before. The distance between us has not disrupted how deeply I feel for you. I guess I am at a point where having you physically close to me is not my greatest desire but to watch you smile and grow is. I know that we can make each other smile without saying a word but you have your own path to follow and I am sure someday, our paths will meet and we will be together chasing our dream."

She sent the picture with "I thought about you when I read this in a sense"

WTH does this mean?! I just validated and told her "I can see how you might feel that way"