I would like to weigh in on this. Unfortunately I’m having a very busy day at work. I haven’t read your posts, Many worries, but I intend to. I actually agree with some of what you are saying and also feel the culture of this board has changed a lot in the last 5 years. Either way, we all need to respect one another and communicate in a way that is mindful and productive. All of us and all the time, no exceptions.
I’ll be back when I have some time! I hope we can all make some positive changes together, as this place is a life savor for many readers!
Blu
I'd be interested in how you feel it has changed. I know Many Worries feel that LBSs are innocent and that the WAS is all to blame. However, I see it stated all the time that LBSs are at a minimum partially at fault for the state of their marriages. I was very clear in my own sitch that I took the majority of the fault on myself for being a terrible husband for a very long time.
However, that doesn't justify affairs. If your spouse is so awful, D them, then go out and find someone new. The majority of the sitches we see apply the principle of the monkey not leaping from their branch until they've identified another branch that can support them. Or the analogy of Tarzan not letting go of a vine before he has grabbed another. D can be justified in a sitch where one spouse is just a bad spouse. But striking up another relationship before that happens cannot, in my humble opinion, be justified.
I've only been here a little over a year and a half so I can't speak to the culture change of the board. I will say that in general, stagnation is never a good thing.
That's not even close to what I've said.
Sorry Many Worries! That was a mistype. It should have read: "I know Many Worries feels that the board now espouses that LBSs are innocent and that the WAS is all to blame. However, I see it stated all the time that LBSs are at a minimum partially at fault for the state of their marriages. I was very clear in my own sitch that I took the majority of the fault on myself for being a terrible husband for a very long time."
Last edited by Steve85; 10/17/1906:11 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
