I find myself in between two different strategies in dealing with my WW/MLCW. I would love to get the pros' guidance on how to proceed effectively.
Here's my sitch: M 20 years, T 25 years. S18, S 11. BD 7/19. We have been separated for 2 months, per MC recommendation. W stays at a friend's house each night, but returns to the house each day to run her daycare business. We see each other in mornings and evenings when I get home from work. She comes over for Sunday dinner with me and S11, per MC recommendation. Relations are always under control and cordial. She has used all the MLC jargon: "ILUBNILWU" "I don't feel any connection" I've changed" etc. Has never used the actual word D, but says that she wants that. I do not want D and prefer to try and work it out. I have zero proof, but feel very strongly she is having an A. First question is, should I try and get proof of A? I feel like I can't have any honest discussions about our situation unless I know for sure.
As far as strategies, I was taking my lead from an old thread from AmyC. I was working on being the lighthouse and standing for my M. I was lovingly detaching and being as friendly and positive as possible while focusing on myself and spending time with S11 and increasing GAL activities. I felt my W was just too "comfortable" with this tact. No movement or discussion any type of resolution.
A few days ago, I switched the tough love/WW in an A approach as discussed by Sandi2 in older threads. I feel that this approach has her on her heels and she is not controlling the situation as much. She may be beginning to think I am going to leave, and with that, so too will some of her comfort.
I am prepared to lock-in to either approach. Understanding my preferred result is to R, which path should I go down?
