Been a super stressful start to the week . GAL is on the horizon though . Looking forward to just getting out and de-stressing over the upcoming weekend . Some much needed time with my gal pals planned .
H continues to increase talk about reconciliation. Though not anything solid and no real plan on his part . Confusion , depression , limbo still very clear . I’ve tried to increase my validation . Using phrases I have found on here has been a life saver in those moments of not knowing what to say .
My PMA has been noticed by H but also helps me stay grounded for my own sanity and well being . Feels good to smile and just walk away . This week my goal was to learn to be softer spoken . It’s a struggle to be a good listener but with patience and practice it’s who I strive to be .
I feel as though H is testing me . My noticed changes he’s stated . Will try and twist the way I reacted to something or turn me saying nothing into “ I know you are mad”. I just don’t bite.
R talks are hard . It’s really hard not to give all your emotions up to someone you have always been so upfront with . On Sunday night he looked at me and said do you know I have never loved anyone the way I love you . I just smiled but I wanted to reply well I hope you never love anyone the same way because I wouldn’t want anyone to feel the same pain I’ve been put through .
