Shame and devastation

[DaB35]

Hi JD. Been there! Lots of us have that T-shirt I imagine.

Yes give her time and space. And then, give her more.

You will go through a few rough patches. That is normal. Don't deny yourself to feel it. Feel it. For me, after 5 months (I haven't seen W for just over a month now), the rough patches are getting much, much shorter. Like minutes rather than hours or days.

Try to avoid the negative patterns. I get it. You'll probably be picturing her talking to her mates about you in a derogatory way, or perhaps missing you alone at home but then refusing to talk to you, talking to her family for hours and trying to convince them all that you "weren't right together", or drunkenly bragging to friends on a night out that she doesn't need you and she'll be 'fine'. Remember - don't believe all they do and say, even months down the line.

One really good phrase that has stuck with me on this thread is "you'll never look stronger than when you are walking away." Or words to that effect anyway. Be strong and detach, GAL, do your 180s (for YOU, not her), and you'll have improved a huge amount. It really doesn't take long. It took about 6-8 weeks for me before people noticed changes. Then show everyone the new you. Friends, family, work. They will support you and reinforce your new, fresher, positive attitude.

Post. And post some more.