Steve has some great advice. Most likely his eye wandered a while ago. It's hard to maintain one relationship, but trying to do 2 relationships with the stress, shame, guilt, and pressure all around? That's very hard.
What's hard for you is to recognize his pain and to try and really THINK and not FEEL your way through this. He's sending lots of mixed messages bc he is all over the place. We have a saying here, please drive this into your head:
"Believe nothing they say and only half of what they do". It applies to everyone you meet and all the time.
My advice is to remove pressure, don't discuss things in details, protect your emotions, and recognize important things. You don't have kids together I take it. LRT it is. Talking about the dogs seems unnecessary. I love my dog and so does my W but if she separated I would take care of the dog and not mention it to my W.
Also, there are some great gals here that will be in to support you from the feminine side. Stay strong sister!
I know that Steven was cheated on... so he sees everyone the same. But without more evidence it adds NOTHING to the conversation.
It does add something IMO.
Originally Posted by Many worries
Originally Posted by unchien
It feels like giving up. I'm on a divorce BUSTING web forum after all..
Most of the "experts" here are divorced. There was no divorce busting at all. (Personally, I think a few would be better served on militant men's rights forum) but that's for another day.
Also, it should be noted that many here give advice contrary to MWD. At times, I feel the advice here pushes spouse into binary thinking and thus moves them to divorce without giving them a path home.
Remember the things that did or didn't serve them in their marriages won't necessarily serve your efforts.
Originally Posted by Many worries
Originally Posted by AnotherSLander
Alright well prepare yourself for incoming 2x4's. You are being pathetic and needy. And that's VERY unattractive. All because of what, she took some item you had in your garage that you were desperately clinging to in the hopes that she won't be able to leave you? It's a "symbol"? Come on, get over it. You should have handed it to her and asked her if she needed any help getting the rest of her crap out of your house. My girlfriend pulled this on me, said she wanted to take her stuff in case we break up. You know what I did? Boxed it up for her and told her it's ready to go whenever she wants it. That was like a year ago and it's still at my house.
If you want to keep hanging out with her and doing stuff together that's fine, but you've got to quit being so needy. When you do stuff together then enjoy the moment, and when she leaves then enjoy your time apart.
Example A
I wanted to make a thread for you so that we can clear the air and discuss different in reasonings and philsophies without hijacking threads.
I don't like dropping into threads just to go round and round on these things so let's get it all out here.
I also noticed you substituted an L for the T in one of member's names. I think that is just childish. Can we discuss without the attacks?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
