IH, it sounds to me like you are pushing her buttons. The Magic Mike comment for example, she makes a joke and you say something back that can easily be construed as your distaste for her joke with a little "holier than thou" attitude thrown in for good measure. Now you could write a paragraph about what your real intent was and how you were joking etc. etc. but the bottom line is that is how it reads to me and more than likely she was insulted by it.
Same thing with your "better" idea on how to clean the window. She's probably thinking that nothing she does is "good enough" for you. Thus the gray rock reaction, because anything else is just going to net a lecture from you similar to the lecture you gave her on WHY your window cleaning idea is "better".
The real question here is why does her gray rock reaction push your buttons? Because she's not engaging? Grey rock is what YOU should be doing with her! Quit lecturing her! She starts cleaning the window in a way you don't like? Drink a nice tall glass of STFU and let her. She tells a joke you don't like? Smile or chuckle and go about your business.
