If you even have to ask this question then no. What I always tell LBS's considering S or D is this- if you can tell yourself every day for at least a couple of months that you're done and ready to move on, and there is no anxiety or fear or worry or regret in that thought, then you're ready.
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2 I have backslid some in my 180s (I think mostly to my mind being constantly on cancer. No pun intended) so should I get those back on track first?
180s should be for life, so yes do try to stick with them.
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3 we are best friends. Do I preserve that or no?
Up to you. Some people can do it and some can't. Some LBS's just feel like their heart is getting ripped out all over again whenever they're around their ex. My XW and I aren't "best" friends but we have remained on friendly terms and can hang out or take the kids to dinner or have a birthday party for them without it being weird or awkward. It works for us but I've seen sitches here where it didn't work.
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4 is it normal to feel sad about this at this stage.
Sadness means you're not ready, you need more time. There's no rush is there? Time is your friend, use it.
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5 is it normal to feel excited about being single?
I can't really say, my XW left really soon after BD and I certainly was not excited about it. It was quite a while before we got divorced and I wasn't excited about that either, more like relieved it was over. But then I had already been dating a while by then so it was more of a formality than anything. But let me tell you, dating is exhausting work. It's like having another job. It's not anything to be excited about, LOL!
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6 I’m worried I haven’t done everything I could. I just know I’m tired of the way things are. If she wants to be part of my life that’s great. But if not, I’m done, I don’t really care anymore. Walk away
Again I think it sounds like you need more time to process this. By the time I got divorced I was 100% satisfied that it was the best path for both of us, that there was no path to reconciling and that she had changed so substantially that she was no longer the person I fell in love with and was married to for so long. Whatever happened transformed her into a different person. Not better, not worse, just not the person that was in love with me and that I was in love with. Once that realization hits you, that the spouse you knew really is gone (if that is the case with you) then your path becomes more clear.
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7. Is it normal to have a small hope that walking away will cause her to think about things. But to also know that’s silly?
I think it is VERY common for LBS's who were BD'd less than a year ago to say they are ready for D, when in fact they are REALLY hoping it'll be a wakeup call that will "snap her out of it". It's a horrible idea! Because right now, D is likely what she wants. So if you suggest it to her, you will find a very willing participant. And that will be a huge gut-punch to you. Then what do you do, because you don't want D, but she does, and you told her you were going to pursue it. It's a lose-lose situation for you.
