Hey Oz, glad to hear you are doing well! I hope you rip cancer a new a-hole Keep it up, a positive outlook is your best weapon and it sounds like you've got that down!
Hey guys hope you are well. I have a question if you don’t mind
My mom was in town for the weekend. It’s my sons birthday today. My mom and my W stayed up late last night visiting. My mom (who knows about everything going on) told me this morning about their conversation
Her goes
Mom: so how are you guys adjusting to the move? W: well H and I are still trying to adjust and it’s hard, but S loves it here W: and I’m not proud of it but H and I are not doing very well either Mom: oh? W: yea we have only ML once in the last 6 months and we were barely saying ILY to each other and now we don’t say it at all, it started when we lived at the farm, but it’s got a lot worse since we moved to Wichita Mom: oh wow I’m sorry
Mom said it seemed like W wants things to get better. But if she wants them to be better she has the power right?
I kinda feel like droppin an ILY just to see what happens ya know?
Thoughts?
I’ve come so far. I’m not gonna lie. It gives me a bit of hope.
I'm skeptical about the conversation. It may be her way of setting up the bomb drop.
Having said that IMO it is ok to test the waters with an I love you or a sexual advance if the feeling is right. Just don't overreact if it's not reciprocated. Then just go back to DBing.
Thanks LH. that’s kinda what I figured too. I’ve gotten all adjusted and ready for her to leave. Lol. There will be no overreacting, trust me, I actually figure on it blowing up in my face lol. I think it’s possible that W was just letting mom know what’s going on so that way when she leaves she has cleared the air. Make sense?
I also think that the opposite is possible. That she has redeveloped feelings for me. But wants to see if I still have them For her. I don’t think she ever thought that I could go this long without getting upset over lack of sex (I have killed it in that dept) she is very bull headed that way. And we are actually playing this sad game of waiting for the other to say ILY. Sounds like a bad country song
I have just come so far in detachment and letting her go and there is almost a certain excitement to being single again (I feel rotten for saying it out loud). I don’t want to get drawn back in to be hurt all over again. Make sense?
I’m very happy with how far I’ve come. But I don’t want to go too far. Make sense?
I know I’ve come a ways because I feel like helping others on here. Instead of it being just about me
PS. We had a blast for S bday party yesterday. I can’t believe how fast he’s growing up
You communicate to her in a loving way that you want to work on the relationship with her but if she doesn’t want to work on it that you have no interest in living like roommates. If she tells you she has no interest in working on it then you walk and never look back. (Separation/Divorce).
Having said that you DO NOT have that conversation unless you’re willing to follow through.
Keep it up, a positive outlook is your best weapon and it sounds like you've got that down!