F*ck... got roped into MR conversation, with some chit chat. Told her about the GAL that I've been doing. She perceived it as that I've moved on.
The DB rule is not to "initiate" R talks, but sometimes the WAS will initiate one and if they do it's OK to talk about it. But try to focus on listening and validating.
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WW mentioned that she's had a lot more perspective since the separation, and gained appreciation for the day to day "mundane" interactions that she took for granted.
Good, she's learning to miss you.
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WW then inquired about moving back in, and working on the MR / R... apparently I made a face, and knee jerked to the idea of it. I clarified that we should take it slow, go thru some recovery steps before we fall back into old patters / chaos, and that we can't really work on anything until there's no AP. She agreed and that just wanted to know that the door was not closed.
Great, you handled that quite well! You didn't just throw the door open. You stated that work would need to be done and that AP needs to be out of the picture. Perfect.
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Maybe she just wanted validation that I'm still available as plan B.
More than likely that's what it was- a temperature check. If she brings it up again then make it clear that the A must be over before you will even CONSIDER talking about it. No use in having big long "what if" conversations.
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Definitely still not believing everything she says, and 50% of her actions.
Good. Your DB'ing is showing results so take that as a signal to keep doing what you've been doing!
