I have explained to her I'm not doing this to be punitive. Is that I need to heal, that she has hurt me by separating our family and our marriage, I love that won't play family unless we are together as a family.
l kind of know how to handle these family situations, I just don't know if Im going about it the right way.
If anyone wants to give me any tips or how to respond to these requests like this in the future, if it comes up again like Thanksgiving or Christmas. I would greatly appreciate it. I need to know whether I'm handling this correctly and if I'm being prideful or if I'm responding correctly.
XW: Still not sure... would you consider coming up with him tomorrow for the day if he stays home tonight.
H: Sorry. I don't play family unless I actually belong to one.
Hi IHCLACS, I support your decision not to go, but I don't support the way you're saying it. Imagine an acquaintance or co-worker invited you over? "Thanks, but I have plans." "Thanks, but I'm looking forward to working on my car | garden | traveling | getting some solo R&R time." Simple formula - show appreciation + decline. Boundaries control your actions--she chooses to invite you, you choose (boundary) not to go.
Imagine how harsh your reply would sound if you said it to a stranger.
