GAL today was super fun . Some much needed time with Son . Haunted hayride . Had a blast .
So H has been here last 5 nights . He has auto immune disease that knocks him out for weeks been on going for last 5 years on and off .. Luckily he has tons of stocked vacation time . He’s openly admitted he’s depressed . Has a few hours a day where he’s functional . Mainly he sleeps all day perks up in evening . Today he seemed better . A long habit of mine was to constantly call or check in . I left work knew he would be gone before I came home . He had man plans. So I decided not to call him . This has been one of my 180s give him space and pay no mind to his activities. Even though now he tells me just about all of them now .I just wish him well . He called me to check in . I laughed to myself . Tells me some of his plans with with his friends . Kept convo light . Cut it short . Off I went to GAL .
Yesterday he was in car with me talking on phone with his sister . They are pretty close. She has never been my greatest fan and would love nothing more than to see us remain apart. He expressed this is a source of stress with reconciliation facing his sister . I knew she asked about me I was sitting next to him . For the first time in months I heard this :I really appreciate everything my W has done for me the past few weeks . She’s been great . I thought an alien had jumped in the car but nope it was my H. The one I fell in love with and married . Even if only for just a few minutes . He got off phone pretty quickly because I’m sure that didn’t sit well with her and he just grabbed my hand . He said maybe I needed to get sick to calm down . To see who really will be there for me . Who knows me and loves me. Who gets it. It was directed at me who has always been his care taker when he’s down and never has said a complaint about it . I gave no response didn’t even know what to say so I smiled and changed subject to something random . It’s an odd thing . I started saying thank you more (180) when he does something kind or something just small . He’s now parroting some of this . I don’t ever think I have heard thank you so much out of this man . I’m noticing little things he would stay a night and be so against doing laundry here . Who knows why . That way I’m pretty easy going . He’s continued to co parent . Pay his share of bills in home and with children . My goodness like wash your clothes . Nope . I ignored it . Let it go and said ok you wanna drive all over to wash your clothes feel free . Low and behold I look over and his laundry is sitting mixed in my basket with mine in master bedroom. My towels folded too . Now I wonder is he ever going to say I want to move home or just never leave??? But there’s a huge part of me screaming it’s good while he’s down but when he’s up he runs hard and fast .
Reality is this we are far from reconciliation. I’m not sure if he wants to . Words say yes and no . Actions have been more towards yes . But believe only 50%. Curious to see how this goes . He could walk in the door late tonight or not at all . I didn’t even ask if he was coming back . He could run really hard after some man time - usually his pattern . He could stay just the same in limbo. No expectations but maybe just a little bit of hope . I saw to post hope on this board and not talk to spouses about it.So I’m gonna say I see just a little bit of hope coming from H that this M may reconcile .
