Confused and Lost

[may22]

Hi Kristin,
You're doing great-- hang in there! I agree with Cali, boundaries are to protect YOU, not to force her to do one thing or another-- so you just really need to figure out what behaviors are so upsetting to you that you just have to say no for your own sanity, and then stick to it. On the 180s-- are you still trying to help her fix her problems? Or just validating (when appropriate)? Sounds like validating and resisting advice or comments beyond validation would be a 180 for you and also right in line with DBing.
One thing that has been really helpful for me in GALing is working out-- it has been a great release mechanism and I haven't looked and felt this good physically for more than a decade. I was out with a friend the other night and this college kid was totally hitting on me which my friend and I both thought was pretty hilarious (I'm 44!!!) but I can't say it didn't feed my ego a little. Feeling more confident and sexy can be a really big boost and help with all the rest of the DBing.