22 years gone

[rooskers]

What's your XW's age?

She is 40 and was 30 when she had her last affair.

Did she have childhood abuse, abandonment or neglect?

She has relatives that her mom says are bipolar. Her aunt lives in Las Vegas and is addicted to drugs and was a prostitute for years. Her mom had her at 16 and told her she was a mistake. Her biological dad was never in the picture. Her stepdad was a very controlling and emotionally unstable. She was kicked out of her house at 16 but later I found out she kinda of left to join a church and marry some boy (never married the boy though). Her stepdad died of cancer right after D13 was born. So yes she has a lot of childhood issues.

Don't let memories of the past eat you up and consume you Roo. Push them to the side and quash them

I try not to push them aside or quash them but let all the toxic emotions do what they need to do and then let them flow out of me. It is an immensely painful process. For example, I purposely went to a location we had an amazing date night and let all the memories flow through me including the sadness and pain. It hammers at my heart and soul but afterward I feel a little stronger and am able to move forward a tiny bit more. It usually takes multiple times to fully experience and let go of all the feelings and emotions each memory brings up but I do it anyways. I like to think of this quote as the technique I am using to heal. No longer will I bury the pain.

Strength through adversity. The strongest steel is forged by the fires of hell. It is pounded and struck repeatedly before it’s plunged back into the molten fire. The fire gives it power and flexibility, and the blows give it strength. Those two things make the metal pliable and able to withstand every battle it’s called upon to fight.