Divorce because I betrayed her trust - THREAD 4

[DaB35]

DS - haha! The school friend is married with kids. We did however have a very brief fling about 10 years ago though when she was single (quite some time before I met W).

One minor thing I've realised today - I had bought W tickets to a show in London in early December (Valentine's present - Nightmare Before Christmas screening with a live orchestra, and Danny Elfman is singing live). Obviously I assume we aren't going together now (!). However, one of her close friends loves the film just as much as she does. The tickets are being posted to me - well, my parents' house. Shall I remind W about it - she will most certainly have forgotten about it - and suggest that she takes her friend? Or...should I find someone to go with myself?

Mini-Journal:
I've realised recently from IC that I compromised my happiness quite a bit in the M. I'd started getting up very early for work so I could come home earlier - she'd complain that I was getting in too late - so i just did it to make her happy even though it made me a bit tired, and she'd be working anyway when I got in and we wouldn't start dinner together until around 6/6.30 (which is still later than the time I would have arrived home had I left a bit later in the morning).

When W did something that I didn't like, I would never call her out on it. I didn't want the argument - she is good in arguments as she can immediately know what to say, plus she's very assertive in those situations. I would just 'take it'. Weak, yes, NGS, yes*. No boundaries. I made myself more passive in the R than I should have done. I let my SIL dictate how my W should be doing certain things (she was quite invasive during our wedding plans and was constantly suggesting things we should do instead, but then never followed through on them), but W just didn't see it; I let my W rubbish things I liked when I'd spent money on us going together to do something and she'd just moan; I never picked her up on things that upset me.

I have vowed to myself to never be like that again. These five months on my own have been extremely valuable for me to identify these things and deal with them. Only 5 months?! And in that time my W started D, and our house is up for sale. I know she's chucking lots away. I know she will struggle, however much she boasts about being fine. I do not believe her. She is far too proud to admit the alternative. Next time she sees me I'll be AMOAFWL - with a bit more on the biceps I'm hoping! - and I'll be very pleased to say I'm doing great if she asks.

*Reminds me of the scene in an episode of Family Guy where Adam West rolls in radioactive waste to try to become a superhero, but ends up with lymphoma. The doctor says "Why would you do such a silly thing? To believe that was idiotic." West simply replies.. "Silly, yes. Idiotic, yes..." [long pause] [next scene] !!!