want to smack her in the face with a shovel and say "wake up dummy! you obviously still love me!"
The best way to do this is dropping the rope. If you suddenly got a whole new group of friends, or even one friend, and you were no longer around, I bet your W would freak. Then, if she had any reason to suspect you might be seeing someone else (which she will find something I assure you), she would almost forget all about OW because she is so worried about this new life of yours. You are right that your W is still obviously attached to you and is just blatantly cake eating. I was in a very similar situation last year when my W had an A, and as soon as I decided to have as little to do with her as possible and GAL like crazy, within weeks she had ended the A and broken down about she didn't know how to live without me and was afraid she would regret everything for the rest of her life, etc. I promise you, given your situation and your W's feelings, detaching, 180s, and GALing will be VERY effective. You are pretty far from where you need to be and I know exactly how hard it is to cut off all the friend stuff. But do it and you will be so glad you did.
