I am glad your seeing an attorney, and I understand the two parallel tracks you are following (although I think three).
- preparing for a D - keeping my guard up - keeping open the possibility of an R should she come to the conclusion that's of interest to her.
I figure you are open to the possibility of R. Therefore whatever she is thinking or feeling is of little matter, so cross it out and focus on you.
I am going to suggest something for you to consider. The idea of parallel tracks set this up as “either or”, like it is a choice. These three things are not mutually exclusive, any number of them can occur independent of the others. This is all the same path.
You can and should prepare for D, keep your guard up, and stay open to the possibilities - all of em, which includes a new and better R.
I do get the duality mindset of looking into D and hoping for R. We have to see things as two for a while until a certain level of detachment is achieved. No worries here, just a gentle nudge.
I bring this up because trying to live in two worlds will get a person stuck - and your not stuck.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
