Jac you are 100% correct that she is being incredibly selfish. You are also quite correct in that she will never see it or understand it no matter how you phrase it back to her. You can't get her to see and understand her selfish ways, you can only listen and validate and hope that some day she comes to her senses.
If she's a narcissist then she never will get it, because she can only see things from her point of view. She'll always be the "victim" no matter how cruel and selfish she's being.
