This morning I feel good . Starting to see more that sometimes just not saying anything is better for my internal peace. Separating my emotions from H allows me time really to process my own and does help with being ok to disagree without a big fight and have my own calmness . Learning not to let a new emotion of mine or H over take me is hard but I feel like I’m starting to see the good it does me or even both of us .Even if GAL is taking a 20 minute bath it still some time I invested in myself . Helps me organize my emotions or sometimes just put them away for a bit .
After last night of me not knowing what to say so I said nothing . H again came in and temp checked on if I was up to going out on a date . He stood there for a little just waiting . This month is a complete 180 for him inviting me out so much and really being present during our time together . Not getting too hopeful because this could just be a wrinkle and he ll be on the run again in no time . I accepted which is a 180 for me because it was late and normally this would stress me going out so late and having a long tired day next day . He poked a little trying to get me to complain it was late. No bite . What was odd was during this he was packing his belongings up to not come back for a few nights . I almost blurted out - you know why don’t you go alone . I didn’t . This is a marathon not a sprint keep my head in the game . To my surprise he walks over and just lays on my lap almost like a child and says “ please just give me time I’m so scared “. So I just kissed his head . No words spoken . Out the door we went for our date .
