I deal with this too. Even today I feel that my ex and I had some problems but everything was fixable. However, it clearly was not fixable from her perspective, if it was we would not be D today. Sad thing is that we are still a good match for each other compared to a potential new partner. But it takes two people to make a relationship and clearly that criteria was not met here. So, as hard as it can be you have to accept that it is not really fixable. As far as the communication breakdown, you reached that conclusion based on what she is 'saying' and you cannot really believe what is being said.
This is precisely how I feel. We are a good match for each other in many ways.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
U, believe nothing they say and only half of what they do. She's rewriting history. Last year she was fully onboard and said it was best for the family. Now that she's a full-blown WAS she's opened up her WAS handbook and started spouting script at you, and you BELIEVE it? You've been here long enough to know better
Even as I write these things, there is a voice in my head now (thanks to DB) that tells me there is nothing I can do, she is going to blame me for it all, let it go. I know. There are times I doubt the voice. But these incidents only serve to reinforce my belief that I truly can do no right and I need to let it go.
The problem I have here is that I do believe she resents me for the move. I feel like she finally said something that was true, or at least matched my truth. I'm not saying we shouldn't have moved. These communication issues, and my W being controlling and communicating poorly, would have continued to persist. But she likely would not have completely submersed herself in the victim narrative full of resentment. Maybe in this alternative universe we would have stayed M'd, but I would have been less happy in the long run regardless.
