I go through this cycle every now and again. I have never wanted to get divorced. Yet I am struggling to see a future for myself if I don't push this to finality. I guess I am in limbo land for a while longer.
I am having a tough time with this because this is what she wants yet she isn't moving forward with it either. Seems to be quite comfortable living in our nice house with me paying her way. Not sure what shoe will drop to get this moving in either direction. It feels like one of those 'she is waiting for me to do it and I am waiting for her to do it' scenarios.
I keep wondering if she is stalling to save up money so she can surprise me with more expensive lawsuits and more fighting to take away the kids. She seems to get joy out of my misery and sorrow. I am avoiding contact with her outside of a text about the kids at all cost.
Frustrating if nothing else.
LB - What has pushed my situation out of limbo land is that financially we are spending into our joint savings and it shocked her.. As long as you are paying your W's way, I would guess your situation is likely to remain in limbo.
Regarding your fear about lawsuits and fighting for the kids... face your fear. It may well happen. So forget about the fear. What do you want? Do you want 50/50? If not, why? It's okay to not want 50/50. Are you willing to go to court? You may face slander and a difficult trial. Be ready emotionally for it. Do not let your fear factor into your decision. You are a good father, you deserve to advocate on your behalf for what you think is fair, regardless of how strongly your W may react.
Staying in limbo is okay as long as you continue to DB and make personal progress and be prepared for any future. You may eventually reach the point where you prefer to move out of limbo, and that can be a decision you choose to make (rather than waiting for your W). Only you can decide on your timeline.
