I continue on this path of DB still having doubts that I’m not going about this right . Detachment is a hard process when someone is increasing the amount of time home . Hard to gal last few days as gal takes away from parenting time some days .
H has continued to talk R . Starts the R talks . I still never begin them . Talks about reconciling he’s continuing to just say he’s fearful . Maybe we are better together . Maybe we are better apart . I validate about fears . Just saying yes it can be frightening. But I’m starting to notice maybe I am giving too much of my positive side and it may be unknowingly pursuit . Because my input is met with silence . Almost as if I need to make these R talks one sided . He talks .... I just listen . Give not much back . I’m a talker so ahhhhhh that’s hard .He told me he loved me for the first time in months . I have to detach more with yes he felt that for the moment or maybe it’s been lingering the more I show my true happy loving caring self . But he’s still so confused. Says it . Believe none of what they say ? Half of what they do ? I don’t even know which half to believe. The half when he’s with me and peaceful or the half when he leaves .
Today was a challenge I met him with kids . I left with them . I knew he had to come back to grab a few things for work . I leave he’s still parked in car . Now normally I would call him or ask why it took over an hour for him to drive 5 mins . I didn’t . I went home . Started dinner . Cleaned . Low n behold he walks in with sweets for me . Goal definitely for me is to learn not to smother someone . Baby steps today but felt good.
