Confused and Lost

[SoTorn]

Im sorry you are here. Read everything Cadet posted. Also read what Sandi posts. The vets will be along shortly and are very helpful.

Your WW is eating cake and keeping you on the hook as a solid plan B. You need to put a stop to this. She is disrespecting you and your MR blatantly without regard for you at all.

Its time to focus on yourself. Yes you are in love and it hurts. But the cycle of hurt will never end unless you take action. Turn your focus from your WW and turn it to yourself. What can you do to 180 any toxic behavior you had that contributed to your half of the MR? Recognize that behavior and stop it.

Stop pursuing your WW. No more hugs, ILY, nothing. Start bettering yourself for yourself. Start making decisions based on whether or not they will benefit you or better you as a person and stop making decisions based on how your WW will react or what she does. What she does no longer matters. She needs to feel the loss of you and understand that you love and respect yourself too much to allow the disrespect to continue.


She is eating cake to the max. She has a saftey net with you as a solid plan b and continues her A openly without regard for you. Treat her accordingly. No being ugly, no arguing, no demanding, no ultimatums, no begging, pleading or crying. Just focus 100% on yourself and detach yourself from her. Stop seeing her, stop calling her, stop texting her. Unless there is something important you really have no need to speak with her.

You must get to a point where you are indifferent to her actions. Get to the point where you are comfortable and confident that you are going to be fine, because you will be fine. It may take a while but it will happen. A year of this has to have been brutal for you. Drop the rope, detach, move on with your life.

If you detach and DB successfully, your WW may feel the loss and may pursue you to repair the MR. That may not happen but the path you choose now will ensure you are perfectly fine and content no matter what. You may get to the point where its too late for her. She may come back and you have completely moved on and dont want her back. But all of that wont happen until you focus on you and detach yourself emotionally from her.

You are trapped in a cycle of extreme emotional abuse because of this. Its your job to get yourself out. Protect yourself. Keep posting.