I am a Newcomer to DB, but have found the site and the forums very insightful. I am 32 y/o LBW married for 4 years, together for 7 with my 31 y/o WW. We have had a beautiful R with very few arguments and a fulfilling life. She graduated from college and was going through the rough transition of finding a career position when the OW came into the picture. At first, we were all just friends but my gut quickly alerted me that something was "off". I told my W about my fears and concerns which, of course, pushed her further away and right into a closer friendship with OW. BD about her feelings for OW in Oct 2018 (one year- insert sarcastic "woo"). She immediately moved out to her own rental and said she needed to "find" herself but began a full blown love affair with OW - she admitted PA in Jan.
Fast forward over the last 12 months and it has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. She has moved back home 3 separate times and tried of several occasions to end contact with OW unsuccessfully. Most recently, she moved closer to home and is renting a house that we had considered buying in the past. I get confused about her feelings bc we still spend at least 3 days/nights together and say ILY. There is no intimacy other than hugging as we both decided that it would not be a good idea as long as OW is still in the picture. She is still spending time and spending the night with the OW as well although she tells me that nothing physical has happened between them since March of this year.
I know I need to GAL and work on detaching, but am in desperate need of some advice on how I do that when I am still madly in love and want to spend time together. I wait by my phone, always reply pretty quickly (although I'm working on that), I never say no to plans, etc. She isn't hateful or cruel during our hangouts and is so thoughtful and sweet it still feels like we're married and happy. We still dream about a future together, but she is in love with both of us and I don't know how to get out of this rut! Any and all help is so appreciated and thanks for listening!
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W 32 me W 31 T7 M4 no kids 4 dogs
LBW 32 - me WW 31 T 7 M 4 No Kids 4 dogs
Separated 1y Navigating the mine field and GAL with or without
