Hi Blu, please do not be sorry for being blunt and honest. That is truly what I’m here for! I don’t trust my own perspective on this anymore, and that’s exactly why I posted.
What you say makes a ton of sense. I think that it can be both: I am getting mixed signals from my H (I am pretty Sur of that) but it is not for the reason I want it to be. And the truth is that his giving me these signals for any other reason aside from considering reconciling is either him cake eating, or him being cruel to me for his own reasons. In other words, there is only one acceptable reason to be relating to me the way he has been, and since it is likely not for that reason, he’s being awful. I get stuck trying to figure out why on earth he would want to string me along, but I can’t. And I won’t be able to. I was previously concerned about pulling back too much because I wasn’t able to do that without being cold. I think that it’s probably just fine if I come across as cold at this point. Better that than to play a role in my own stringing-along.
I think you’re perspective on his moving from OW to OW is a really good point. I was looking at it in the wrong way. Thank you for that 2x4.
I know I need to let go completely. I want to, at this point. And I’m having a really, really, really hard time getting there. That is just the inescapable truth. That needs to be my only focus, for my own sake. I think I should probably stop posting here. As much as it feels good, I think it might be contributing to keeping me in the wrong mindset. I probably won’t stop reading others’ threads, and maybe I’ll come back to post again when I feel stronger.
Thank you again Blu. You’ve always been honest with me and not afraid to be blunt and I really appreciate it. It’s clearly what I need. Thank you for your support!
