The D process is going a bit slower than I would like. We have agreed on the basics, but H is dragging his feet on confirming it, and “may have a few other things”. We still have a few more things to negotiate, but I won’t wait to file the paperwork much longer. I want to be divorced before Thanksgiving. He did pony up the agreed alimony on Oct 1. That’s something anyway.
I don’t think H realizes that when the D is final, that’s it. No come and go, sharing items from the house, or storing his stuff here. I’m writing in the D settlement that he has 30 days to retrieve his personal belongings after the D, then it becomes my property. He has a lot of stuff. A lot. He will have to get storage. I’m sure he doesn’t want to pay for that, and that’s why he’s been dragging his feet. Today I asked him if he planned to keep the drill (it’s a really good cordless one) as I need it for some projects. His response: “I have no problem sharing things. If you need it I can drop it off but at some point I want it back”. I told him he can keep it as I can get another one.
Continue to share things? Really? Another way to try to keep me Plan B? No thank you.
I’ve been really getting rid of things. Clearing out the garage. I’m looking at all the stuff we have accumulated with new eyes. H collected so many chemicals, oil, nuts, bolts, etc. All going. Selling a bunch of stuff too. It feels good. I’ve put a lot of H’s stuff on a few big shelves so he can just take it. A closet is crammed with photos and his books. That feels good too. It will feel very good when he gets it out of soon-to-be MY house.
It blows my mind how H is so blind to his role in his poor relationship with his kids. He sent me this very long e-mail about it, after I responded to a comment he made. He actually said in an e-mail (as he refuses to speak with me on the phone or see me because it’s “too difficult”).
“You might remind D20 that I’m still forking over a lot of money for her expenses. She might be a bit more charitable in her dealings with me. She has refused to reply to me for about 6 weeks now. I know she’s not happy with the situation between us, but I feel like I’m being fully blamed here. If she’s trying to punish me, she’s doing a good job of it and I’m not happy about it when I still keep sharing her expenses. I’m still her father”.
That just blew my mind. We had a few very long e-mail exchanges on the topic of the kids. He was all blame, blame, blame. He says that I must have insinuated things for them to think it’s all his fault, etc.
I responded with a very long e-mail back. Haven’t heard back. He knows I’m right.
H doesn’t know this yet, but my attorney is drawing up the paperwork with the items I believe we have agreed on. When the last big item is settled (life ins), the paperwork will be filed.
I wonder if H will be surprised I actually did it.
